Hmmm, I count 8 syllables in the middle line.
Yeah... I guess that depends on whether you count ev-er-y-thing or ev-ry-thing.If Tomboy took out the "his," then she'd be fine.
But then again, maybe the syllable got picked up in the translation from the original Japanese? :-)
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Horrible, terrible, awful poems in the 5/7/5 format. Haiku are traditionally about nature, but these aren't always.
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Hmmm, I count 8 syllables in the middle line.
Yeah... I guess that depends on whether you count ev-er-y-thing or ev-ry-thing.
If Tomboy took out the "his," then she'd be fine.
But then again, maybe the syllable got picked up in the translation from the original Japanese? :-)
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